Single Parent Families
If you are a single parent whether you are the noncustodial parent, the technical way of saying you and your children live apart most of the time, or you are working and raising your children on your own involving your children may be even more essential. If you are the noncustodial parent, your proposed relocation to another city may radically change the visitation schedule that you and your kids now enjoy. Perhaps the divorce already has caused your children to get used to seeing you only on the weekends. If your move to the East Coast requires a "holidays and summer vacation" visitation schedule, your children deserve to know about it as early as possible, and they will probably require some reassurance that you will maintain close contact with them after you move.
If you are a single parent raising children and pounding the pavement, you may need their help in some of the practical aspects of running the house to free your time up so that you can aggressively pursue your job search. Also, because a job search can wreak havoc on your emotional well being, your children may seem like the only friendly faces you see on a discouraging day. Regardless of their ages, your children can provide real support in practical and emotional terms. (Keep in mind their relative maturity when you are really discouraged.) Talk to them about your plans and goals, involve them in the process, and you guarantee their cooperation.
Confidentiality
Regardless of your marital status, you must emphasize to your children the need for confidentiality. If you launch your job search while you are still employed, you want to limit the conversation to your home. A casual remark made by your child to a co worker's child at the company picnic about moving to Phoenix could cause problems at your present job. Similarly, an impulsive remark from your teenage son while taking a telephone message from a potential employer may damage your possibilities. The best tactic for keeping your children involved in your job search is to be as open with your children as their level of maturity permits, while simultaneously encouraging them to be as closed about your job search with all outsiders as possible. When taking telephone messages, for example, stress to your children that they want "just the facts, Ma'am."
Whatever kind of marriage or family you have, whatever the children's ages, your best defense against opposition to relocation is a strong offense:
- Team spirit
- Everybody wins
- Compromise
- Love
Job Search Support Networks
During the last ten years, many job search support networks have been formed across the nation. In churches and community centers, individuals from a variety of professional backgrounds meet weekly to exchange information. Membership costs are nominal, if any. These groups yield a big return on investment, if you use them wisely. You are not there to socialize, but to talk about your job search and listen to others talk about their job searches. What works? How do you change your mindset after you have been turned down for a promising position? How do you promote yourself and your job search without being overbearing? What does it mean to go after people, not jobs? These are the kinds of questions discussed at these meetings.
You probably have heard of job search support groups, or perhaps even attended one of their meetings. Job search networks provide two very useful functions keeping you on track during your job search and bringing you in contact with others who are in your situation.
By attending a weekly meeting that focuses on job search efforts and skills, you structure your time and maintain the momentum necessary to find the right position for you. Others who work in different fields may have creative suggestions and strategies that have worked for them. You probably have a wealth of practical suggestions to share with others as well. An important part of human nature is altruism, and by helping and encouraging others, you benefit yourself.
The meetings generally last two to three hours and address one topic per session. Topics covered in a job support network may include any of the following: networking, resume writing, maintaining focus, time management, self evaluation, interview skills, and so on. In many ways, these networks serve the same purpose as this book telling you how to identify and successfully compete for the job you want. Unlike reading a book, however, attending a meeting about the job search puts you face to face with other people, which help keep you on track. In addition, the groups often sponsor excellent motivational speakers. If you are like me, you may really recharge your batteries by listening to a gifted motivator. One word of caution: As with outplacement, you don't want to get too comfortable. These networks in no way replace the network you have been actively building since you first started your job search.
How do you find a job search support group? Most major city newspapers provide a weekly calendar of career related events in the Sunday classified section, so you should start there. Churches of many denominations consider helping people with career development as a part of their ministry to the community, and therefore are active sponsors of job search support networks. The sponsoring agencies, whether they are churches or community groups like the YWCA, are nonprofit, so you should not be asked to pay.
In fact, when looking for a job search support network, be skeptical of any service that promises results and asks for anything but a nominal membership fee or contribution. (You may, for instance, be asked to chip in for coffee or to cover photocopying costs.) At this point, you already have a goal and have done the kind of self assessment that precedes the job search, so you should not spend time and money at the career development programs offered by local colleges and universities, unless you have a particular need to address, like interviewing skills. Your best bet are the church sponsored job search support networks. You can go on a weekly basis, or just when you feel the need to get some fresh ideas.
Spending one evening a week talking about ways to find an excellent job and the problems of being unemployed in the meantime can help to alleviate strain at home. For example, if your spouse feels the burden of listening to you, I recommend that you find a quality job search network to broaden your support system. Even someone who knows you very well may be unable to really empathize with you consistently during your job search.
